Fanfiction Corrupts Fairy Tail
by Tiffy-Chan858
Summary: After Lucy buys a magical device, Fairy Tail members get sucked into the world of fanfiction and shipping and read fanfics written by none other than us. How will some of them react? Collaboration fic with WhatifStoryTeller
1. Introduction

Lucy Heartfilia was sitting at her desk. After budgeting all of the request money that she received, she was able to afford a small magical device. One that was placed on top of her writing desk. With a press of a button, a hologram would appear and display words, pictures, as well as some games. This was called a Comgram, and hers was the oldest version, still using Holoverse Explorer.

She was just getting used to the device. One day, out of curiosity, she searched her name. As old people would refer to it, she was googling herself (which, in this age, was only called searching).

It was a complete mistake.

For a moment there, she gulped, thinking that Jason had published some photos that he wasn't suppose to, but none of these were actually real.

It was drawings.

Someone actually made drawings about her. Her head dropped in shame. "What…?" she uttered to herself, wanting to bang her head or at least tear down the whole universe wide web.

And one of these photos linked to a story…about her getting tied in rope and hanged in front of the hot males of the guild… Her mind would never felt clean afterwards.

This was how the Fairy Tail members learned about a website called . This was only the beginning, because after this event, the Fairy Tail members decided to destroy the holonet!

That was impossible, so they all decided to write letters with their concerns enclosed in hopes of changing the ways of these Fanfiction Authors.

Will they be able to sway their fans?

Or will another story about Lucy getting cornered by the Thunder God Tribe and blackmailed be published?

And so, we will read the letters and reactions of our favorite characters and lets see if our opinions of them change. How we gotten ahold of these mere reaction accounts is not something that we discuss to this Google generation. Expect your favorite pairings getting crushed, Lucy getting blasted by Natsu's Dragon Roar, and complete and utter denial of your pairings. Sounds like a good story already, doesn't it?

So let's begin, shall we?

* * *

**We don't own Fairy Tail (if we did, we would be rich and always tired...but I'm always tired…) and this idea has been done before, but we wanted to do our chance at it. Pairings will be always be denied unless if it's something pretty canon (Alzack and Bisca, Evergreen and Elfman). And this is mostly for humor. Have a fun time reading, Google Generation.**


	2. NaLu (Natsu x Lucy)

_Dear to whom it may concern,_

_I've discovered this site a few days ago, and after finishing some of the works… I've...well… I understand that you all want to be writers, as do I, but could you please change the topic? I feel very...well...embarrassed with all of these stories…_

_I know this sounds wrong... but I really can't believe some of the stuff on here. All of those fanfictions with the boys together...and then there are so many stories about me! Why do you guys like me so much?! I'm not mad at all, I just, it's just… There's so MANY! And there are thousands of stories of me with Natsu in a romantic way!_

_EEP!_

_Really?!_

_I'm pretty sure this is an invasion of privacy...right?_

*Lucy's face is red as a tomato at this point*

_I can't believe this whole thing…I mean… Why isn't this site shut down yet? How long as this lasted? Why wasn't I informed? I could have published some of my work...You can get famous on this site, right? Maybe a publisher would find me… But what if they don't like my work… I guess...I could...write about our guild...y'know since it seems so popular...maybe... but wouldn't Loke get mad if I did? I know Erza will… No, I can't. If I did, then I'm only helping the problem… even though it may be a good business..._

_Anyways! I hope you guys understand where I'm coming from, right? It's so strange writing a letter to people you don't even know… Sorry if I use 'right?' a lot. I feel strange writing to fanfiction authors..._

_Yours truly,_

_Lucy Heartfilia_

...

_Dear whatever you guys are called (I think you guys are called fan-fic-t-ion wr-i-t-ers?),_

_I don't understand any of this shit What is all the language you guys are using? Is it something other than what we use in Fiore? And what are all these words mean? What's a AU? A OC? Also what are 'ships'? Are they the ones you use to sail with? and what does nalu gale and gruvia even mean? Why are you guys 'shipping' me with Lucy and all these people? We aren't ships! And they're my nakama!_

*He scratches his head in frustration*

_THIS STUFF IS DRIVING ME INSANE!_

*He does a fire dragon's roar out of rage, not realizing that Lucy was next to him*

"Nnnaaaattsssuuuuuu!"

"Whoops! Sorry, Luc!"

_You guys are stranger than Striper. Sinsereley Natsu_


	3. GaLe (Gajeel x Levy)

_Dear...'Fanfiction' authors,_

_U-um… these stories that you've wrote…. are very interesting… but some of them are over the top…. me and Natsu-san as a couple? WHAT? WE'RE ONLY GUILDMATES!_

_A-and there's no WAY me and Lucy-chan are going to…. have any feelings like that towards each other. We're JUST FRIENDS!_

_And Gajeel-san….. u-ummmm…. we're not that close…__._

*She covered her face with her hands, trying not to show her red face*

_I guess those stories are…. a bit interesting….._

*Accidently stumbles upon a smexy story about her and Gajeel*

WWWHHHHAAAAATTTTTTT?! O/O

_Respectfully yours,_

_Levy McGarden_

…

_Idiots_

_Really? You guys made a website for stupid imaginary relationships? When I first heard about this, I couldn't believe someone could be more stupid than Salamander, yet you just proved me wrong._

_And most of this shit is as wrong as hell! Pinky defeating me in a fight? And what's with this stuff with Shrimp?_

*Reads it*

_You are going to meet your friggin' maker soon._

*Last line was created with pressure instead of ink*

_ \- G R_

**Sorry this chapter was short! Expect updates every other day (unless we get behind on schedule and we become extremely lazy and procrastinate XD). Reviews are appreciated and request pairings if you want us to write about them! **


	4. NatLe (Natsu x Levy)

**For all those who want crack pairings, today's you lucky day XD Anybody ever heard of this ship? I see it a couple of times once in a while.**

**We chose to do just Levy's letter instead of having Natsu's with it because his letter in the first chapter was talking about all the fanfics in general, not targeting a specific pairing.**

**Enjoy this chapter! Your reviews are greatly appreciated!**

* * *

_Umm…_

_Dear Authors…?_

_Your stories are exactly the same as last time!_

_I just wanted to write back…..I didn't mean…...that I hated Natsu-san or anything…...I-I just meant that we were only guildmates...friends...?...it's not like we ever went on a mission or anything…...but I knew him since childhood. It's just…...I-I….don't like him like THAT! Just the thought of me and HIM gives me the chills. And the way the stories were…..they were over the top…..with me being saved over and over by him….. T/__T_

_And together?_

_I really can't see that happening..._

*She bites the end of her fingernail and reads back through her letter*

_Oh yeah, one thing that I had forgotten. Remember to use __You're_ _instead of __Your __when you are talking about yourself and an action. HAVE A GREAT DAY! :D DON'T CATCH ON FIRE! :D:D:D MILK IS GOOD FOR YOUR BONES!_

"I hope that I didn't seem too hostile…maybe I should add more advice in it?

And...compliments?"

*Bottom of her letter was filled with endless, simple advice and small compliments. So much so that the rest of this letter was unreadable upon delivery*

*Some people say that her comgram suffered a meltdown, others believe that the comgram retired for the rest of its days.*

*And to this day, the only thing recovered from the bottom portion was this*

_ Respectfully yours__,_

_ Levy M_


	5. Brax (Broom x Max)

Brax (Max x Broom)

Master sighs to himself as he finish the fanfic and shouts to someone from the next room, "Mirajane!"

A young lady appears at the door, her head poking inside. Master looks at her, "I have a serious question."

Mirajane raises an eyebrow at him.

"How long have we had this broom?"

"Almost two years~" She answers with her singsong voice.

He swears under his breath, "I don't know if I should get another broom or let them be a happy couple…"

"Oh~ It's alright, I've been using the spare broom since the first accident~!"

"You...knew?" He pauses for a second, "There's been...more than one accident?"

…

_Lovely, disturbed fanfiction authors!_

_I have three things on my mind after glancing at your stories, that was found by randomly browsing and not that I was searching eagerly until my hopes were crushed before my curious eyes._

_1\. Why am I being paired with a broom? Why not the beautiful Mirajane? Or even Cana (I mean, after a few barrels, I may be able to go out with that and then regret it in the morning; sounds like a normal night if you ask me)._

_2\. Why is that a thing? _

_3\. And...how did everyone find out?_

_Other than those questions, I've lots of other things to do, so I'm keeping this letter short. Well, it would be short anyways because this isn't much of a matter in the first place. _

*After closing the letter, he stays on Brax's page all night*

*How can one be so obsessed like this young man, is what we letter gathers are thinking*

*If questioned about this experience, he will only say that nothing ever happened and it wasn't a big deal at all*

*Totally*

_Over and out,_

_Max Alors_

_P.S. Some advice for the next time you decide to write about my wonderful life, please take out the brooms and add the Ladies~! Preferably busty, tall and redhead._

_P.S.S. Not. Erza. That will give me nightmares for nights… Just thinking about it makes me fear for my life. _

…

*Swish swish swish*

*Swish*

"Come on guys, it's broom. Brooms can't talk!" Master shouts.

"Yes, they can."

"Wha-"

*Broom pushes Master to the side*

"Heeellllllloooo lovely fanfiction readers! Lately my lluuvveerr and I have been reading these vvveeeerryyy interesting stories, so called fanfics! I have to say, these are ffffaaabbbbbuulllooouusss! Write mmoorreee! Don't listen to Max when he says th-"

*Max pushes Broom away and stuffs it into a corner*

"D-don't listen to the broom! It's just making this up!"

"Yeeaa rriiiinnngghhhttt sweetcheeks. I'm pretty sure you are _mmaaddllyy _in love with me."

"Whhaattt? No-"

*The rest has been ripped up after a heated lovers quarrel between Broom and Max*


	6. Baccana (Bacchus x Cana)

**WARNING: CUSSING AND SEX REFERENCES. Other than that, enjoy this chapter! We will try to write your requests as soon as possible!**

* * *

*Cana is extremely intoxicated*

*Excuse the excessive cussing*

_Dear whateveryacallyourselves,_

_WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT!? WHO'S GREAT IDEA WAS THIS?! BACCHUS AND I ARE __**NOT, AND I MEAN **__**NOT **__DATING! We're just drinkin bbuuuuddiieesss. _

*She takes a barrel of booze, chugs it, and chucks it somewhere*

_Nnnnnnoooowwwwww hoowwweevverrrr rights this nnnooonnnsseeennsseeee sshhaallll drroowwwnn iin bbooooooozzeeeee!_

*She chugs two more barrels*

"Cana? Are you alright? You seem to be drunk," Mirajane worries from behind.

"I'm fffiiiiinnnneeeeee," she says, slurring her words and swaying back and forth.

_Bbbuutttt, I guessss hhaavvviinnnggg Bacchhuss as a bboyyyyyyfffrrriiieeennnddd isn't sooo bbaaddddd. I need aa one anywayyyysssssss. _

"BUT!" She shouts. "HE HAS TO LOVE ME LIKE BBBOOOOOOZZZZEEEEEEEE DDOOOEESSSSSSS!"

*She passes out while dreaming of Bacchus*

_dear pepz_

_how r ya/ man this keyboard is creppy as helll. cana's a babe though, i can't deny that. plus, she has just the right bonkers, if you know what i mean ;) next time i gotta ask for her digi-_

*Pen is taken away from him and shared between others*

_That Fairy Tail chick?! Won't last long for our Bacchus! She will be standin' all week! (_Nobarly)

_Whoa! GUY WON'T BE __**HAPPY**_ _BOUT THIS! _(Jager)

_we won't be seeing bacchu for a year if she's around! _(Semmes)

_You're finally a man, Bacchus… T_T _(Warcry)

_I wouldn't mind bein' stuck with that. Girl got the spirit of a BEASTTT! _(Rocker)

_what they said _(Bacchus)

_first bra, next thongs! _(Semmes)

_that shouldn/t be a problem ;) _(Bacchus)

_Now, if that Mira joined it...hell...that would be FIREEE! _(Rocker)

_Mirajane? Wut bout the noob...Luigi? She got those curves y'know _(Jager)

_Go, son, make that girl never forget this day Q_Q_ (Warcry)

*Rest of the letter was mostly dabbled with details about what Bacchus would do*

*SPIRIT was written all the letter*

*And we firmly believe that there were several nosebleeds*

_quatro cerberus_

_4 life yall_


	7. RoKa (Rogue x Kagura)

_Dear whoever this concerns,_

_Millianna has shown me these and insist I must respond because she has mixed feelings and it is now popular to respond to strangers over the holonet._

_Rogue who? _

_I am sorry, but I have no time for others._

_Not with Zeref still living. _

_Not with evils still lurking._

_Until then, I do not see these 'stories' happening, not now or even in the future._

_\- Mikazuchi_

…

_For all the writers out there,_

_Please, do not write these absurd stories that contain nothing but nonsense. I'm pretty sure Sting takes pleasure in reading all of this, but I don't. Just stop with all this rubbis-_

*Frosch comes up and sits on Rogues lap, interfering with his letter*

"Fro thinks so too!"

_See? Frosch thinks so too, so just stop writing like you guys can predict the future!_

*Frosch accidentally reads one of the fanfics that were open on the Cologram*

"Fro thinks-"

"NOOOOO FROSCH! DON'T SUBMIT TO THE FORCES OF EVIL!"

-_R.C._


	8. BickEver (Bickslow x Evergreen)

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHA..._

*Wipes away his tear from laughing so much*

*Takes a deep breath*

_What the __**helllll**_ _is this crap? You guys can't be serious, right? Huh? Really? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEAHEHAH-_

*Well...this is Bickslow for you...*

*Not much else can be said...*

*Oh...he's still laughing about it...*

*He hasn't stop for days...*

*Please send help to us, the letter-gathers*

*We can only take so much abuse...and this is overboard...*

*...help...*

…

_Authors,_

_Why doesn't any of the stories you write say about me becoming queen of the fairies? As you know, I am a much better fit to be called 'Titania' than Erza. And you must put me with these people? Don't you realize that the one I like... is... a certain person? _

*She blushes, turning away from the computer and covering her face with her hands*

_But never mind that! I strangely admire your handiwork... but please DON'T PUT ME WITH SOMEONE FROM THE RAIJINSHU! _

*Afterwards, she becomes addicted to reading fanfiction and has never stopped since*

*After several days, the guild hosted a convention for the woman*

*She is still receiving treatment to this day*

_-Ever_

...

_DEAR MMEENNN,_

_THESE STORIES ARE NOT MANLY! MAKE YOUR STORIES MORE MMAAANNNLLLYYY! _

*Flips the table with the Cologram on it out of rage*

_MMMMMAAAAAAANNNNN!_

_-Elfman_


	9. Ichiza (Ichiya x Erza)

**Sorry for not updating yesterday! Stuff happened, and I forgot to post it ^_^;; That's why its a double update today! :D We added Natsu's opinion on this ship just for laughs (I mean, he could ship this just because its funny, not because of the romance XD).**

* * *

_Dare fanfic authors_

_I think Ive finally figured out why people enjoy this shit….. It all makes sense, why haven't I realze that now? _

_*He finishes the last part of an Ichiza story*_

_*He doesn't even realize it's about romance*_

_*All that he cares about is the stunts that Ichiya pulls throughout it all*_

_*I mean, if he were to actually like this pairing, then he would be killed by the Titania*_

"MORE!"

_*He shouts to the ceiling, already sad that he read the last fanfic*_

_Oh i think ive figured out what opt (? ?) mean. Isnt that a apartment #? See, Im starting to learn. But how does that have to do with this creepy storys? Maybe its about Lucys adress? Hmm…..could be….._

_**SEE! I GOT IT!**_

"OH! There's another one! AWESOMMMEEEE!"

_ADOIS NATSU!_

…

_Dear writers,_

_Out of all the stories you guys write… the ones with….. Ichiya….. are… the most terrifying….._

*She shivers, feeling tingles down her spine*

_I understand that you guys write these stories purely for enjoyment….but there is a limit on what you can and cannot write….._

*A deathly aura surrounds her*

*Her eyes turn into a death glare*

"NEVER WRITE ABOUT THAT CREEPY ICHIYA WITH ME AGGAAAIINNNNN!"

*She changes into her Heaven's Wheel armor as she tries to find the authors who write these fanfics*

"I smell some lovely perfume. Sniff sniff. Is that-"

"Noooooooooo!"

*Erza shouts as she tries to run away from Ichiya*

_Yours Truly, _

_Erza Scarlet_

…

_Dear Fanfiction Members, _

_Though you gotten Ichiya down correctly, there are much needed improvements on Erza's characters. First, Erza would never touch Ichiya in anyways. There are numerous reasons of why this pairing would never happen, such as the gap of their ages, one is pretty much a stalker, has a cat clone, a pervert, there's a big chance that he uses his perfume to drug others and many other reasons. And, to add to that list, Ichiya could never satisfied Erza. It's well known that no one can tame the Titania. _

_Second thing that needs fixing is that only two people can live through Erza's demon mode, and Ichiya isn't one of them. That doesn't mean that Natsu is a fine suitor eith-_

*There were more reasons, but the point is clear*

_Regards,_

_Crime Sorciere_

*Jellal spent the rest of the week, commenting on any stories involving Erza*

*Giving them pointers or creating a list of why this would never happen, going under the name of Anon*

*That week, Erza stories got dramatically better*

…

_Dear Wonderful Ladies (and men),_

_I hereby read all of these wonderful stories and couldn't be more joyous by the contents~. But I must ask, why is there such a small about of these true love that Erza and I, men, share~? Certainly, there must be a reason why there are such a small amount~? Are you being blackmailed~? Hunted down, men~?_

_Men...maybe I can do something about it…~_

*Turns into hulk form*

_My honey is the most lovely woman, and I have the handsomest face in the land, above all other men~. We were made to be together~._

_~Ichiya V. Kotobuki~_

*Letter was sprinkled with Type II Obeying Perfume*

*I feel the need to worship a handsome man and the floor that he walks on*


	10. StingYu (Sting x Yukino)

_Wait, __this is a thing__? Me and her? O_O Uh….__no_ _way, Jose. We're not like that. She's my bud, right after Rogue._

"What about me, Sting-san?"

*Lector asked, pulling on Sting's jacket*

_After Lector (-_-), Rogue and Fro (:3 had to add)_

*On arrival, this line was crossed out*

"There, happy?"

*Lector nods*

*Rufus isn't*

*Nor is everyone else in the guild and beyond*

_After Lector, Bookworm/Rufus, Fro, Rogue, Minerva, Natsu-sama, Gray, Max, someone named Mavis, Gajeel, Gildarts, Luigi, Forest girl, Gray's sister [Wendy?]…(_other people_)...Snowflake #2, Cheila, Mirajane and Toby. And then, finally, Yukino._

"Alright...are you guys happy now?"

*Everyone nods*

_I just don't understand how this happened. Maybe because I saw her naked O_o ? The whole guild saw her naked and __only perverts_ _were focusing on that part, you know, since shit was going down at that time, I didn't look, you perverts -_-_

_S. E._

_P.S. You guys are strange… :P_

…

_Dear author-samas? _

_Umm... I don't think of Sting-sama in that way... he is cute, and helped me get back to Sabertooth, but we're just friends... teammates... nothing of the sort... please don't think about it that way with us... O/ / /O and I'm sure Sting-sama wouldn't wouldn't like it either... or Rogue-sama... or anybody else in Sabertooth... please forgive me if I am angering you guys..._

_Sincerely,_

_Yukino Aguria _


	11. GrayLu (Gray x Lucy)

**_To the ones who want GrayLu xD_**

* * *

_Hello again authors,_

_Again, these stories_ _keep getting out of control and crazy (for example, me and Gray? Seriously? I would get murdered if a certain someone ever saw me with him). I mean, I see that you clearly write this stuff as if you guys were making a profit out of it, but WHY MUST YOU WRITE THE IMPOSSIBLE!? My life has been scarred ever since I found this website T-T_

_Some of this stuff is pretty good, but most of it is DOWNRIGHT SCARY. ESPECIALLY THIS. Please, can you not write about me and anybody else that don't seem to belong with me? Some of this 'GrayLu' stuff seems interesting-_

*She stops writing when she sees Juvia with a 'I-am-going-to-murder-you' glare*

_Aaaaannyywaayyss, have a nice day! Don't get cray cray and write stuff that is an invasion of privacy! Gray and I are just friends, not lovers!_

_Yours truly,_

_Lucy Heartfilia_

…

_Oi,_

_Juvia'sbeensteaminglately, andIthinkIknowwhy. I'mjustgoingtosaythisonce, sopleaselisten._

_No. _

_Don'teventrythisshit._

_Thesefantasiesofyoursareoverthetop. WealreadyhaveJuviaandLevyforthat, soyeah, don'tneedanymoreofthat. Plus...Lucyandme? Really? That'slikepairingmewithWendy. _

_GrayFullbuster_

*We stayed up several hours trying to translate his letter*

*And we thought Natsu's letter was bad*


	12. Gajendy (Gajeel x Wendy)

**NEWSFLASH! This story will be updated every 2 days instead of one. Don't question it, just deal with it (sorry about that). Is this even a ship? If it is, somebody tell me XD**

* * *

_Salutations,_

_O/ / / O_

_Nnnoooo wonder no one wanted to tell me about thiisss... … I'm still a young girrlll… anddd….with Gajeel-san?! O_O_

_*Embarrassed to write anything else*_

_*Carla takes over*_

_You miserable perverts are placing your erotic fantasies on a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD. EVEN I CAN FIND NUMEROUS THINGS WRONG WITH THAT. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT IMAGING A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND GAJEEL? On numerous levels, this relationship would be tabooed, you sick-minded fools. Please keep Wendy-san away from your next works, as well as burn down the others. If I find another one of these, I will personally come and find you. You will not like that. NOT AT ALL. (__ﾉ __益__°)__ﾉ 彡 ┻━┻_

_Wendy &amp; Carla_

…

_You idiots just don't listen, now do you?_

_Quit makin up this bullshit and go on with something else. Seriously, I had enough when you made those stupid stories with Shrimp in them, but this? Don't get the little kid involved in this. I said you guys were stupid before, but now you guys are lower than that. _

*Does a little searching and finds more fanfics with Wendy and other girls with him*

_Somebody has a deathwish. _

_-G.R._


	13. CaJu (Cana x Juvia)

_Dear non-fairies, _

*Still hungover from the last letter*

_Noononononononononononoonnoono... no. I rather have my name scream in bed, PLUSSSZ, whhoo the hellll wantttss tooooo heaarrrr Gray's nameee doing the _ _ _ _ _ over _ _ donkey _ swung _ _ _? I mean, I thought you people knew__better_ _by now. _

_*Name has been censored for the protection of the young*_

_U thught Natsukun's aattaacckkk nameeez werrree cooooll? Heh, aren't mine wayyz butter?_

_Tho, playyin with water wil bee the first ;P i wondddeerrr what sshhe coluld do withh those thingiies._

"Cana… I think it's time to...block you from this website~" Mirajane tried to pry the lapgram from Cana's lap.

"Nononono, there's still more TO CHECK!" Cana shouts to the ceiling, "Hey! There's one bout ME~ AND YOU~!"

"Oh dear~..."

"EH? I never thought THAT was possible."

"Me neither~"

…

_Dear assholes,_

_How should I pphhassee this without being sentenced to yail? Well, there's really not a way is there, huh? _

_DO NOT MAKE SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT MY SWEE- I MEAN, CANA! _

_I thought that first one about that drunk guy-_

*Blurt*

_-was bad, but now these?! REALLY?! I DON'T KNOW STUFF BOUT THIS JUVIA, BUT CANA ALREADY HAS ENOUGH DIRT ON HER SO THERE DOESN'T NEED ANYMORE! FIRST IT WAS THE DRUNK, THEN THE BARTENDER, STALKER, MACAO (ew), ERZA, GRAY, THAT SUNGLASSES DUDE, AND NOW THIS WATERGIRL? ...just imagine the water tentacles…. o / / / o_

_Next time I check this devious website, my baby BETTER BE OFF! OR OFF WITH YA'S HEADS! And by that...I mean both :D (for the girlies/beauties out there, don't worry, I got a massaged/lectured/sleepover/punishment planned for ya ;) _

_Signin' out,_

_Gildarts_

…

_Dear writers….._

_Juvia has to say one and only one thing to say: I WILL FOREVER LOVE GRAY-SAMA AND __**ONLY **__GRAY-SAMA! THESE FANTASIES BETWEEN CANA AND LOVE RIVAL ARE ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! JUVIA CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STUFF IS HERE! JUVIA SHOULD BE WITH GRAY-SAMA AND __**ONLY**_ _GRAY-SAMA! NO NAKAMA SHOULD BE WITH JUVIA! JUVIA WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYBODY PAIRING JUVIA WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN GRAY-SAMA! _

*Finds a pile of Cana x Juvia smut*

"_JUUVVVEEENNN!"_

*She faints out of frustration and anger*

_~Juvia Lockster_


	14. Miraxus (Mirajane x Laxus)

Interesting.

Tried numerous times, but no luck.

I think I will just stay with non-Fairy Tail babes. Though I like them feisty like them, but there's no one in the guild that catches my eyes. Mira's good on the looks department, but I'm hella sure she doesn't see shit in me.

And whoever it is has to complete with Freed, Bickslow and Evergreen.

One night stands are alright for now. Don't have to worry about shit other than Freed showing up uninvited (I'm sure he has a tracker on me). So I'm not exactly searching for anyone at the moment.

Laxus Dreyer,

Next Guildmaster

P.S. Freed, if you are in my mail again, I will find you and get you again -_-

...

Lovely readers!

I am overjoyed that you guys agree with my ships! I do agree that Natsu and Lucy will confess their feelings to each other and get married!

However...

*A demon aura starts to form around her as she types on*

I appreciate that you put me with other people...but don't put me with other people that I rather stay away from.

*Ink is applied with a little bit more pressure as the demonic aura continues to form*

I am perfectly fine with you guys pairing me with Laxus... I even think that Master would even encourage that to happen.

*Pressure lessens as a faint blush is formed and demonic aura is lessened*

But do you see what would happen if a certain someone were to see this?

*Spies Freed in the distance*

Now... if you guys would politely please write something that this certain someone would like and stop with these fantasies.

*Suddenly, the demonic aura increases and she turns into her Satan Soul form*

*Freed goes missing after that*

*He is pronounced dead after an unidentified person found him beat up outside of the guild*

*No one knows who killed him*

Oh no... I'm so sad that Freed died... I wonder what happened to him...

Well, I guess you can continue with your lovely writing now, won't you dear readers?

*She smiles innocently as a strand of green hair is seen on her dress*

-Mirajane Strauss

...

*Written before the tragic incident*

Readers,

LAXUS IS MMMMMMIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE! LAXUS-SAMA SHOULD ONLY BE PAIRED WITH THE ONE AND ONLY, FREEED!

*His eyes shimmer as he writes on*

BUT WHY, DOES IT NOT SEEM CLEAR TO YOU ALL THAT LAXUS SHOULDN'T BE WITH ME! I HAVE READ SOME OR THE STORIES THAT HAVE ME AND HIM IN THERE, BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH! WRITE MORE, MORE, MMOOORRR-

*He suddenly gets cut off by a swift kick*

*A series of things that is unknown to us happens to Freed*

*He dies minutes later because of unknown reasons*

"DO YOU THINK THAT IS THE END OF ME?!"

*Freed mysteriously comes back to life from the power of the letter*

*But he forgets who killed him and continues to write on*

LAXUS-SAMA IS FOREVER MIIIIIINNNNEEEEEEE!

*Guild is shocked that he has come back from the dead*

*A certain bartender eyes him with a deadly aura around her...*

Sincerely yours,

Freed


	15. KinaBra (Kinana x Cobra)

**I've lost track of how many days since I last posted ^_^;; So I guess expect unexpected updates? School is ending soon... so I'll probably update daily then...**

* * *

_Ummm... _

_Dear readers..._

_Who is Cobra? Is he someone that is rarely in the guild...? Or is he someone that I know...? I don't remember meeting or seeing such a person before... I only know a guy named Erik, but I don't think know anyone named Cobra... can anybody tell me who he is...please? It feels weird not knowing who I'm with in these stories... if any of you readers can write back... please tell me who Cobra is...?_

_Thank you,_

_Kinana_

_..._

_hmm...shouldn't you guys be doing _

_something better with your time? Are you in jail? _

_becauSe if you're not and really Spent HOurs writing these stories, i pity _

_you. im pretty sure they send guys LikE you to the mental hoSpital, along with _

_midnight. whatever floats your boat i guess. don't give a shit whose this kiana person. _

_angel would be pretty pist off if another girl (is kian a girl?) joined anyways...since that's like her role._

_cobra_

_p.s. seen my snake by chance? cuz my friend a bit lost and...yeah… so seen her?...heard her? smelled? touched?... if you tasted her...then yeah...let's meet up at the graveyard…_


	16. GrayTear (Gray x Ultear)

**Btw, this is Ultear before she aged drastically... that would be creepy if she wrote a letter about this ship when she was old o-o**

* * *

_Dearauthorsagain,_

_Ummmm...Ihatetosaythis,butUltearisdead. Ionlylikeherasafriend, notalover. Idkwhatswrongwithyouguys, butyouguysareweirdosifyou thinkthaticouldeverlikeanolderwoman. Seriously, youguysarebringingupbadmemoriesandregretswiththistopic. Ibetsheslike,idk,2-3yearsolderthanme. Idont'knowaboutyouguys,butithinkthistopicisprettyuselesstopictowriteabout, dontchathink? Also,IbetshehasthehotsforZeref. Andsomeonewillgetmadatthis. Soihaveonerequestforyouguys: STOPIT _

_Signingout,_

_Gray_

_..._

_1\. Relationship-wise, this is incest._

_2\. We have a horrible chemistry so that 'love' could never happen._

_3\. Why is Gray brought into this but not Lyon? They were both apprentices of my mother…and I spent more time with Lyon, even though he did not notice._

_4\. Currently, we are on different sides of the coin, which would not work out in our favor like Erza's and Jellal's relationship._

_6\. There's also the issue of Melody, if you haven't already forgotten since you guys seem to have memory lost… She even informed me that there may be an evil spirit haunting him and that I should stay away for my life… I have still not seen this spirit, nor do I want to._

_7\. A woman named Juvia (I can tell that Gruvia is a favorite shipping, unlike GrayTear)_

_9\. GrayTear. Couldn't there be a better name? Such as Grar? Tearay? Actually...that may be the only one that fits… Just because I"m crying over how moronic this is._

_13\. Gratus for the win. (Now that I'm thinking about it, shipping your brother with other men is pretty damn creepy even though those two fight like an old couple…just like Gray and Lyon… incest much… o-o)_

_27\. If Ur was alive, she would actually support this relationship, and I have a huge problem with that._

_39\. And have I mentioned that I'm in control of powerful magic and a current wanted criminal?_

_78\. Five pages should be enough reasons, right?_

_~Ultear M~_


	17. RoKino (Rogue x Yukino)

**I updated the GrayTear chapter (WhatifStoryTeller told me my mistake in Gray's chapter...) so if you want, you guys can reread that if you want.**

**Be prepared for the next chapter... it's pretty epic xD**

* * *

The black haired boy leaned all the way back of his seat, almost tripping all of the way back. Frosch stood behind him with his head tilted to the side, wondering what was happening.

Fro's ears were covered with earmuffs.

Rogue made sure Fro was protected from the evils of FFN as he called the holonet provider. "Hello? Yeah, I need some assistance. There's this evil site that is spreading evil and gossip….yeah… It's … Hold on? Okay…" He turned around to Fro and made a thumb up, since daddy was taking care of everything.

There was a beep on the other line.

"THEY HUNG UP ON ME?!"

"Fro is confused," the cat mumbled as he walked out of Rogue's room.

"I SHALL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU, FANFICTION! FIRST IT WAS KAGURA AND NOW IT'S YUKINO, BUT THERE SHALL BE NO MORE!"

Sting pulled out Fro's earmuffs and whispered something, "What the hell happened in there?"

"Fro is still confused."

...

_Umm..._

_Author-samas..._

_Please... stop this ... again, I don't like anybody from the guild... and I feel like Rogue-sama doesn't like me... he's too busy and too into Frosch to care about love... and he isn't really my type... and he can't really confine to anybody other than Frosch and Sting... if he had a lover... I don't think he would confide in her... or take care of her in any way... maybe he would protect her... but not be the person to actually wonder what happens to her..._

_-Yukino _

*The rest of the letter is about how much of an introvert that Rogue is*

*Suddenly realizing that she wrote such horrendous letter, she told her celestial spirits to destroy the letter*

*We only retrieved this much of the letter before it got destroyed*


	18. Gratsu (Gray x Natsu)

**WARNING: SOME LANGUAGE AND SEX REFERENCES. **

* * *

_Yo,_

_FirstwithLucyandthenthatothergirl,Ultear? Nowyouarepairingmewithhim… Guys, itstimetogogetyourmeds. Imean, likereally? MeandNatsu? Isitbecauseweareinthesameteam, likewithLucy, orareyouareguysjustFujoshi? Theguythatcan'tbeinthesameroomwithme withoutturningintoafight. Ifthisisaromancerelationshipinyoureyes, thenIdon'twanttoknow aboutyouractualrelationships. Isn'ttherelikealawagainstthistypeofshit? Slander? CuzI'mprettygoddamnsureyouguyscangetintroubleforthistypeofshit. _

_Idon'tthinkIcancometothissiteagainwithouthavinghorriblenightmares. ThoughGratusistheworstofthebunch, I'mscaredaboutwhatotherpairingsthereare._

_Out, hopefullyforever_

_GrayFullbuster_

_P.S. WhatisthisSpacebuttonthatyouguyskeepyappingabout? _

…

_WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PPL?! OF ALL PPL, YOU GUIS PUT ME WITH ICE PRICK?! THIS IS UNACAPTEBLE, UNCLALED FOR, AND UNNESESCARY! I WIULOD RATHER BEAT HIM TO A PULP THAN TO HAV A RELATSHIONSHIP WITH HIM! just when I was gettin to leik this web site, this shit sheows up and pisses me of! U guys are jerks. I hav no resepct 4 u guys any more. You guys r dead 2 me._

_-Natsu_

*Destroys the Comgram with a Fire Dragon's Roar*

...

_**Petition: Gratsu to get Established~ Started by Mirajane and supported by millions.**_

Mira: _Please sign this petition! Natsu and Gray are perfect for each other! more perfect than Natsu and Lucy~_

Erza: _I must say, I find this oddly pleasing and it has my whole support._

Lucy: _Yyyyyaaaaasssssss~! Gratsu FTW! Now that I'm perverted...more so...they would be so cute together, I can't help but not support this. _

Levy: _I can see the bromance happening XD_

Cana: _Bout time jackasssses done shit bout this! Ie beeennn sayin ths for far 2 llooong. I mean, who hasn't reaallize that Gggrray only get naked IN FROOONNNT OF NATSSSSUU!_

_Wendy: U-u-ummm…. O / / /O_

Charle: _DON'T INVOLVE WENDY INTO THIS! _

Smiles (AKA Happy): _Uh… Do I have to use my real name?_

Gajeel: _I knew somethin' was wrong with those two… I'm only sigin' this friggin' paper cuz the Shrimp and She-Devil won't stop buggin' me. Also, if they want me to sing at their awful weddin, they better pay extra. no discounts for assholes._

Lisanna: _Natsu-san will be so mad if he found out… but those two are so cute together!_

Elfman: _I guess...it's kinda manly…? Or...not…? I'm so confused… O _ o_

Alzack &amp; Bisca: _Hope you guys have a lovely marriage! _

Asuka: _Natsu-nii and Gray-nii? Does that mean I will have a new friend when they get a baby?_

Master: _This is certainly a...change… I support everyone in my guild, so this shall have my support as well. _

Toby: _T_T *trips*_

Lyon: _I knew something was strange with Gray since I saw him last…_

Loke: _So he's finally comin' out of the closet! Bout time! I knew there's somethin' between them, but everytime I say anything, Gray would… Yeah, I can't mention that without bringing up nightmares..._

Bob: _If Fairy Tail doesn't support this wonderful~ relationship, those sexy boys will always have a place in my guild~! ;)_

Chelia: _YES! FINALLY!_

Evergreen: _This sounds interesting. I like it. Boy's Love for the win._

Hibiki: _Only because Lucy-chan told me to sign this and add a comment. I don't care either way, as long as Lucy-chan is single. _

Laxus: _At least this is better than people placin' me with Freed._

Bickslow: _HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

Freed: _Show your manly love like how I love Laxus!_

Sting: _O.o Natsu-san likes Gray-san? That can explain how they always want to pick a fight with each other….._

Rogue: _I have no comment about this._

Frosch: _Fro agrees too!_

Lector: _U-um….. slightly freaked out by this… but I guess this is acceptable…?_

Yukino: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Milliana: _If Erza-chan agrees with this, then I do! Meow!_

Awesome Lighting Blast Kid! (AKA Doranbolt): _May I erase my memory after signing? This would not look good on my record either….._

Minerva: _o.o They could make a good couple….._

Angel: _If they ever~ need some information...just come to me ;) I have a lot of knowledge in this area _

Midnight: _This wasn't a dream afterall…. O_O_

Flare: _I have no words to offer, only my support. His ice forming skills will be useful in bed though..._

Warcry: _T_T So...they finally confessed…I give them my BLESSING! Q_Q _(From our intel, Natsu and Gray doesn't even know who Warcry is)

Cobra: _I don't care, I'm just more surprise that they managed to get inside of the prison to give this to me. _

Rocker_: THEY GOT THE SPIRITS OF BEASTS! Tho...who the hell would be bottom?!_

Semmes: _that's their business, but whateverz._

Zeref: _It's love. Can't argue with that. _

Jellal: _Uh… I'm going to walk away now…._

Melody: _AWE! Can I be invited to their wedding?! Please!_

Ichiya: _I was THE ONE WHO TAUGHT THIS BOY ABOUT LOVE! T_T LOOK HOW MUCH HE HAS GROWN! HE WAS MY STAR PUPIL!_

Erigor: _Like the snake bro said, how the hell did this petiton get into prison?! AND WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO SIGN IT! THAT ASSHOLE IS THE REASON WHY I'M HERE...I'm only signing this because the messenger say that it would anger them… I know this isn't much of revenge..but it's SOMETHING!_

Sliver: _I thought you were into that Juvia chick… but I'll agree with anyone you want to be with ;)_

Igneel: _Maybe I should have meet this boy before I...disappeared. He sounds like a perfect match for my dear boy...but… no one has taught him the breeding techniques of Dragon Slayers… I hope this Gray boy will be able to handle that..._

Ur: _I don't know if this makes me proud or not, but I wish you all the happiness that I can give you. Just don't fight too much. _

Mavis: _I had a feeling that something was strange between them… Well, now that they realize it, they can be happy~!_

*This petition gained over several thousand signatures, the first time that Fiore's citizens came into a settlement*

*Only one person objection this idea, Juvia, who started calling Natsu her Love Rival for the rest of the week*

*The petition was found later by Natsu, and the lovely couple destroyed it*

*Now on their honeymoon, the two are hunting down the people who supported this*

*It quickly ended as soon as Erza was the next person on the list*


	19. Lyon x Chelia

_Sigh… Gray warned me about this site and Yuka tried to block me from seeing it… I finally know why. I'm getting paired with striper, a kid, Cupid chick and Juvia-san~. Only one of those 'relationships' I approve of, and it's hella not with a kid, but with Juvia-san~. Anyways, yall are perverts and this site should be blacklisted (isn't this child porn? I mean...really, it should be banned). Later._

...

_Authors,_

_Even for a kid like me, this seems crazy. Yea, I may have a slight obsession with Lyon, but I wouldn't go so far as to call him a lover._

*Wendy comes to see what Chelia is writing*

"Is that so…? I always see you cling onto him as if you adore him….."

"W-W-w-whhhaaaaaattttt? That's not true! I don't like him!" O/O

*Wendy looks at her questioningly and walks away*

_O-ok… Wendy caught me…. I may have a small crush on him….. _

_But there is no hope for me! He is already infatuated over Juvia! There is no way he could like a little kid like me!_

_Come to think of it….. that sounds pretty weird, an older man dating a kid, dontcha think…? o.o We're 10 years apart…._

_ANYWAYS! Don't write these fantasies about Lyon and I! That's just gross! It makes Lyon sound like a pedo! I would like it if we were just guildmates, nothing more, nothing less._

_P.S. If you guys are going to ignore what I just said up there, Wendy and I will unleash the power of the wind on you guys *glares at the readers intensely*_

_Yours truly,_

_Chelia_


	20. LoLu (Loke x Lucy)

_Dear fellow authors…_

_I'm starting to have doubts that my letters are getting to you, since there has been no reply or change in the amount of fanfics for me with everyone in the guild...and looks like not only should I be worried about Natsu and Gray, but now Loke… _

_So...anyone I interact with...I will be paired with? Isn't that a bit...well… I mean, since they are all my guild members… _

_Loke is my faithful celestial spirit who helps me out a lot, especially whenever I'm about to get harmed. _

_I...I can't think about him as a boyfriend! I mean, he has the looks, but he's kinda...a player/man whore…. PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT! I mean, the first time I saw him, he was checking me out as he was surrounded by his girlfriends...first impressions do last. _

_I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I'm wasting too much time on this site already, and it doesn't help with the amount of stories featuring me… _

_Yours truly,_

_Lucy Heartfilia _

...

_Fabulous writers!_

_This is amazing! Lucy and I, being more than just a celestial spirit and an owner, is wonderful! Having a relationship that's even stronger than a bond of love is beautiful and something I have always dreamed of! And to have that bond with someone like Lucy is beyond my wildest dreams! Yes, there was a time where she was just a friend to me, but now, after being her trusted partner, I long for something more! These stories that you write are amazing! Please, write more! It would help me greatly if you would write more about ways I can improve my relationship with my beloved Lucy now, so that these fanciful stories can become reality! Yes! YESS! I can imagine it now… me sweeping Lucy off her feet after our wedding… having a marvelous time on our honeymoon in the celestial spirit world….. moving into a new house and spending relaxing days together… its everything I could ever dream off! If only I could make her be mine…._

_The awesome (and soon-to-be Lucy's new boyfriend),_

_Loke_


	21. Laxus x Raijinshū

Bickslow

*Still recovering from his laughter from Chapter 7*

"Ahahaha….. ha…. ha…"

_What is it now? Me and Laxus? Don't make me laugh. You guys must be foolish if you think Laxus and I are ever going to hook up. And that's just plain gross. Who would want to see two guys being in a relationship when they're clearly teammates? Not me. I just want to vomit thinking about this. Just sayin, I thought it was funny when you guys put me with Ever, but me with Laxus, nobody's laughing. Somebody is wantin to kiiillll. I'm pretty sure you guys know who this somebody is….._

*Spies a green-haired male in the distance…*

_Signing out,_

_Bickslow_

…

_Authors,_

_Though I have worshiped Laxus-sama for years, there's a slight problem that arise last year… _

_I'm sure that the demon girl and Freed can continue in my place. Actually...I don't think the demon girl can complete against our very own….yeah… that._

_Now that that's settled, let's get back to the important business, such as why you guys didn't take my suggestion from the last letter. _

_Maybe I should make this more clear._

*Shifts her glasses*

_I thought we were in an agreement, but here's the thing. _

_My beauty will disappear one day, so the sooner the better. _

_I have suggested this to Master, but he doesn't seem pleased with this development..._

*The rest of the letter was linking us to her clothing category*

*Which would get us copyrighted...so we left that part out*

_~Ever_

…

_I believe the authors have forgotten two very important details. I was the first one moved by Laxus-sama's demanding demeanor and found the others to form a team. _

_And the other two have problems so their relationships with Laxus-sama~~ would never come true. _

_Evergreen with her new love interest, Elfman. And Bickslow...with his right hand._

_I have say this before, and I will say it again. Laxus-sama~ is mine. _

_LAXUS-SAMA~~ IS FOREVER MINE!_

*Believe it or not, but this letter is from Freed…*

_I have a same feeling that my letters are getting repetitive so...hey…how's everyone?_

…

_Seriously._

_I am appalled._

_After all this time, you guys still write this nonsense like you guys are making money off of this._

_You can say I've had enough of this website for 3 reasons:_

_1\. These stories are trash._

_2\. Pairing me with everyone in the guild. Even with the Raijinshū. That's low._

_3\. This stuff that you guys write will never happen. Harsh. Truth._

_So you guys need to get a move on with life and just stop. Nobody is going to get a kick out of these nonsense. So just stop._

_Laxus_


	22. NaLi (Natsu x Lisanna)

**The long awaited NaLi chapter. For all the NaLi fans out there xD**

* * *

Readers,

I know how you guys feel about Natsu and me….. you guys think we can make a good couple, right?

Well….. Lets just say….. I don't really like him all that much… well, I used to when we were kids….. but now is different… he's probably head-over-heels over Lucy now and only thinks of me as a friend…. or hes too dense to notice the love aura around the two of them.

But with that aside… I think Natsu really likes…..Gray! They would totally make a great couple! I mean, the reason they fight all the time is because they love each other, RIGHT?

*The rest of the letter is Lisanna fangirling about why Gray and Natsu are a good couple*

*Who knew she was a fan of BL? XD*

Lisanna

...

LISANNA IS MY FRIEND! WHY WOULD YOU SICKOES THINK OF US LIKE THAT?! WE KNEW EACH OTHER FORVER, BUT NEVR IN THAT WAY! THISS TYPE OF STUFF GROSSES ME OUT! I mean shes been gone for years I am happy when she coame back but i never felt these type of felings fo rher OR ANYONEEEEEE!

We are nakama since childhoood. NOthin bout that has change, so STOP THINKING THAT WAY. plus, last time lisanna gotten a closeee friend, elfman was all over him ike white on rice. So, her getting a dude is gonnnnnnnnnnnnna be a loooooooonnnnnnnng while awaaaaaaaay.

NATZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

PS. if its bout me seeing her naked, i seen EVERYONE naked…...I WILL NEVERRRRRR FORGIVE LOKE FOR THIS EXPERIENCE!

PSS. guys….just imagien master in the nude...not a good pic, right? now….think bout seeing Macao…...ughhhhhh…..

...

My, I can't believe this is still a thing. I would love to see my sister with him, or any nice guy for that matter, but I believe that ship has long since sailed away. If there's ever a chance for those two to mend past flames, then I will be their number one supporter. I've been supporting them since the old ages, but it is Lisanna's and Natsu's life. I can only do so much matchmaking, but I think I will let those two decide on their own. There are so many possibilities for them, as you all can see from the amount of fanfictions and different pairings.

I hope Lisanna won't read this, but I remember her staying up all night talking about how she and him made a promise….. She wouldn't stop giggling and Natsu blushed whenever I teased him about it. They were such cute kids~! Oh, I feel so ancient just from remembering. When she was gone….Natsu and Elfman were broken, maybe that's why I changed into what I am like now while those two moved on.

First Elfman with Evergreen, and now we are talking about Lisanna…. My...I really need to back into the game. Now that I'm thinking about it...where is that blonde?

Fairy Tail Bartender,

Mirajane S~ ;)

...

Kukukukukukukukukukuku

This website ssuurreee is interesting... making Natsu with all these girls... are you guys perverts?

In my opinion, Natsu's too dense to get a girl (don't tell him I said that x3). Also, if anybody did like him, they should ask me first for advice (since I am the one closest to him!).

I don't think that Lisanna has the hots for Natsu though... maybe for Bickslow or Laxus. They look like they could go gooooood with her.

As for Natsu, Lucy is better. It's clear that they llllllllllliiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee each other. I bet Lucy could make a good housewife xD Kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku

P.S. Why don't you guys have any stories about Charle and me?

\- The Nekomander (AKA Happy :3)


	23. Dragonslayers x Dragonslayers

**Just to clarify, these letters are the dragonslayers opinions of people shipping them with other dragonslayers (ex: Sting x Gajeel, Laxus x Rogue, Wendy x Cobra, etc).**

**As always, review, and favorite! :)**

* * *

Are you guys serious?

Just because we have the same magic doesn't mean we are drawn together… Though, I guess it seems that way since most Dragon Slayers come to Fairy Tail, or at least fights against Salamander.

Before you make another 'Dragon Slayers mating season', remember second gen Dragon Slayer over here. Implanted after birth. I wasn't raised by giant reptiles in the sky, nor do I want to be..… I know Gramps was bad, but dragon parents….eh…

Next time you place Newbie (Wendy) in this clusterfuck, you better hide.

Who the hell is Cobra and Rogue? Rogue….isn't he that guy from..…. the one with the cat. Well, they all have cats, but you know what I MEAN!

Gajeel, Natsu and Sting? HELL NO. Sting, it's because of the blonde, isn't it? I have seen blonde in my days, and I'm pretty sure it's dyed.

Next Guildmaster,

Laxus

…

none of these names ring a bell, other than salamander.

and even then, that is beyond disgusting, imaging two Fierce enemies

together becaUse of fangirls dreams. shouldn't you be thinking about Cats or Kittens? HavE you ever thought thAt maybe 'these are guys who have no history of being homo, let's turn them into

homos because it would be sexy!' is not a gooD mindset at all. oh, and stop pestering me here.

i'm in jail for a reason, you know…..so stay away. i don't give a damn about these pity dreams that a preteen girl has.

cobra

ps. wendy...yeah, she's the pipsqueak who came along that one time. you lil bastards.

…

Sting

I really don't get you guys.

First you guys put me with Yukino, now with my fellow friends? Seriously, WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. Putting guys with another guy is just wrong. And then putting one of us with Wendy? Are you guys trying to tarnish our reputation? I would like to keep my title as guild master of Sabertooth, thank you.

Maybe Rogue was right. This website is full of evil. Some of these stories were entertaining, but after finding all of this shit, they're just plain disgusting.

...

U-u-u-u-u-mmmmmmm…

Charle told me not to go on this website…

But after Natsu showed me this fanfic with me and him in it… and after seeing Chelia go on here…... I can't help but wonder what stories are on here…..

After some searching…. I found out what Charle was talking about. O.O

Once you have seen something… you can never forget it…

Please… I.. beg of you…..…. to save everybody… the whole world…... don't write these stories….. they are not good for the mind… or for anybody… somebody might go crazy if they read any of this… so please….. stop..! -

*Charle walks over to Wendy*

*Eyeing the Cologram suspiciously, she says,*

"What're you doing Wendy?''

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-otthhiinnnnggg!"

*Wendy closes the tab she was on*

"Really now….."

*Can't shaking the fear of Wendy being tainted by unknown forces of evil, Charle makes Happy spy on Wendy when she uses the Cologram*

*Finding out what Wendy was on, she punishes her*

*The punishment is unknown till this day*

…

EVIL.

THE FORCES OF EVIL IS GETTING MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER BEFORE.

EVERYBODY HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY IT.

NOW, EVEN MY PRECIOUS FROCSH IS ATTACKED BY THIS NEVERENDING EVIL.

HE IS TRAUMATIZED BY THE HORRID, MALICIOUS, STORIES YOU GUY WRITE.

ITS TOO MUCH.

NOBODY CAN STOP IT NOW.

THIS EVIL IS TOO OVERWHELMING.

THERE IS NO WAY TO DESTROY IT.

BUT IT CANNOT LINGER AROUND ANY LONGER.

BEGONE COLOGRAM.

ERADICATE THIS EVIL KNOWN AS

DESTROY.

DESTROY.

DDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY

*After seeing a mass amount of fanfiction with him being paired with the other Dragon slayers, Rogue destroys Sabertooth's Cologram.*

*He sent out to destroy all the Colograms in Magnolia*

…

Fuckin' assholes isn't my thing. Pinky and Freed on the other hand…. We all know about their partners, Gray practically strips whenever he's in front of Salamander and Laxus is all that Freed talks about. And...Me and Laxus? HELLL NAHHH! Though, we all know, he would be the bottom. Y'all saw how much he cried when I beat him up (and Natsu).

WHY THE HELL IS THERE SO MANY STORIES WITH NATSU AND ROGUE WITH ME!

EVEN IF I WERE GAY, I WOULD CHOSE BETTER PUNKS THAN THAT!

And I don't mean the others on the list, Laxus, Sting and….who the hell is Cobra?

Yeah...that reminds me...I'm suppose to head out and meet you guys, all of the fans of WendyxGajeel :) See you soonnnnn…..

G. R.

…

REBUWAIOEFROAWEVNRFWEIGHNTOVNKRTGVSFORTIGNVAWFUCKHEADSNEDJKWENFJEWASSWEEDSEWFNRIOECMFRECUMONTOMYFACEEWFYAOIFORLIFENAFEIWOCMEIASC

WAS WONRG WITH YOU ALL?!

WENDY IS 13! Right? Or is she 14…? And how OLD AM I?!

STING IS APART OF THE ENEMY GUILD! AND HE ACTS LIKE A COCKY BASTARD! MAX'S BROTHER BY CHANCE/?

ROGUE IS OBESSD WITH GAJEEL! AND HE MAY BE AN ASSHOLE!

GAJEEL IS AN ASSHOLE!

LAXUS IS AN ASSHOLE! AND ONE OF THESE DAYS, HE'G OING DOWNNNNNNNN!

COBRA IS IN JAILLLLLLLLL!1 AND HE'S AN ASSHOLE!

DO NOT 'SHIP' OR 'PAIR' OR 'APPLE' ME WITH THESE CREEPS OR WENDY!

NATSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*Lucy walks in behind Natsu*

"Natsu...what are you doing?"

"I think I broke shift….."

*Notices the Comgrams is practically breaking down by his force*

"THIS IS MY COMPUTER! NOT! YOURS!"


	24. Master x Mira

_Dear People of Fanfiction,_

_Unfortunately, this 'office romance' is not a thing. Mirajane is a young girl with a lot of choices of fine hunks in Fiore, and maybe even one inside of the guild. An old guy like me is only good for making coffins a business and monitoring punks in the guild (I'm not even good at this either). _

_So, please refrain from thinking this family-oriented guild has such disgusting events happening behind closed doors. _

_Fairy Tail Guildmaster,_

_Makarov Dreyer_

*Seals the letter and Mirajane walks in*

"You saw that as well, Master~?"

*Elfman and Max behind the door, listening in*

"Yes, and I'm disappointed that these rumors are from our own fans. I would have thought the younger generation would be too busy on their phones to think about this type of thing."

"It seems like our own members heard this rumor as well, I'm afraid~."

"Really?"

"Yes~."

"I guess we should tell…"

*Max and Elfman press against the door, trying to hear*

*There is a pause before Master says*

"It's about time. All good things must perish. I'm sorry Mirajane, but this relationship is over. I can't ruin your reputation."

*Both of the guys faint outside*

*The two instead of the room are giggling about their ruse*

"Now, can you have this letter be sent and deal with the other gossipers?"

"Certainly, Master~."

…

_My, my, my._

_I never knew that there was such thing as Master and I being an item~. You guys are pretty ambitious, thinking that can happen~. _

_Unfortunately, Master is not my type~. And out of the question~. There is no way that I can be attracted to an old man (sorry Master ^_^;;). There are other women in the world that may be more suitable for him than me~. I'm pretty sure that he is too old for marriage though…. and he doesn't have that much charm anymore now that he's old (sorry again ^_^::::::). _

_Furthermore, such a pairing shouldn't be talked about so frequently and freely… since it is never going to happen~. _

_Wait a second…. If Master never married….. then how was Laxus born…..? O _ o _

_But then…. who was his wife…?_

_That question will forever remain a mystery…..._

_Yours truly, _

_Mirajane~_


	25. Erza x Mira

_Why are these there._

_Why are such stories like me and Mira HERE?!_

_Seriously, you guys… Mira and I are nothing but friends, and rivals (beck when we were little). What makes any of you guys think that Mira would like, I dare say, LOVE me, as a LOVER?!_

*She is trying to contain her rage as she continues on*

_I have had a bad day. First it was those stupid blockheads messing around, resulting in a ruined suit of armor, and then it got worse by Happy destroying my strawberry cake (may it rest in peace T_T). And now I see this? THIS?! ME AND MIRA, TOGETHER!? _

_THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE._

_NOT. ACCEPTABLE._

*She transforms into her Flame Empress armor and burns the Cologram to a crisp*

...

_Hm… This is quite strange, wouldn't you say? Erza and me~? We are friendly because we are childhood friends, or even rivals you may say, and we share common hobbies~. Every time that I get a new object for my collection, I always turn to her for advice, because she is the sadist between us~_

_I can't possibly see why this pairing grew out of control so much~. Is it because we both have long hair? It can't possibly be because our rooms are next door, correct~? Then again….we did use to share bras until she stop growing~. My, this is really starting to make me rethink our friendship. _

_Mirajane~ S~_

*Later that night, Mirajane invited Erza out for mud wrestling*

*The next week, they both went shopping and stayed the night at Erza's to try out the products*

*Erza still has the bruises, but she still enjoyed it*

*This is now a weekly thing*

*And Mira is still wondering how this friendship turned into yuri*


	26. Rogue x Lisanna

WHY.

WHY IS THE EVIL STILL HERE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS PERSON.

IS SHE A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION?

WAIT.

IF SHE IS, THAT MEANS-

I HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE FORCES OF EEEEEVVVVIIIIIILLLLLLLL!

I WAS TOO OCCUPIED IN DESTROYING IT THAT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT IT HAS TAKEN OVER MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

NOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

THEN, IS EVERYBODY I KNOW MY IMAGINATION?

**IS MY WHOLE LIFE A LIE?**

*Too overwhelmed by this, he secludes himself in a corner for the rest of his life with Frosch*

…

Dear Readers,

How should I say this…. I hope Elfman-nii doesn't see this…. I hope he doesn't find this website in the first place….

Rogue-san is a nice looking person, indeed, but…. I have only seen him while in the Grand Magic Games…. And he was playing…. And I was on the stands….. And I wasn't even watching him (Go Natsu-kun, Lucy- chan, Gray-kun, Wendy-chan and Erza-chan!) So… I don't even know who he is…

The only thing that I know…. is that he has a cat… and he's friends with a blond…..

Never mind that….that sounds like I'm talking about Natsu-kun… Sooooo… I don't know this Rogue-san person ._.

And….. he seems like a Crazy Cat person ?_?

*Transforms out of her cat form*

I don't really have much else to say, but I don't want to leave this letter short either. And from the fanfiction...it seems like he's too busy with my twin (Yukino :3 ), Sting-san and Minerva-san… (o|o)

Lisanna =^_^=


	27. Makarov x Porlyusica

*The letter is hand written*

_Why should I, an old lady, care about Comhologramies or about your stupid dreams?! GET OFF MY YARD AND STAY OUT! AND TELL MAKAROV TO KEEP HIS RUNTS TO HIMSELF! HE WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK THOSE MONSTERS IN, AND I DIDN'T!I HAVE NO TIES TO HELP THOSE CREATURES!NO ONE CARES ABOUT FANNONFICTION, SO STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT. THERE'S NOTHING TO IT. NO ONE CARES. PLEASE, LEAVE ME AND EVERYONE ALONE WITH YOUR SILLY DEMANDS. ANYONE WHO ENTERS THIS PLACE MUST PAY A FEE OF THEIR HEAD AND RIGHT TOE! AND A SACK OF JEWELS. I'M NOT PAYING EITHER, I HAVE A BROOM! PORLYUSICA._

…

_Dear People of Fanfiction, _

_Now I know why those brats keep mentioning this website like it's a plague.I don't exactly have a problem with Porlyusica being acquainted with me, but I'm sure that she wouldn't like it. Porlyusica is a wonderful healer and individual and I admire her for everything she does to help those brats, but I can't imagine her ever liking an old man like me, even though we may (or may not?) be the same age._

_Keep these fantasies to yourselves youngins; not everybody's minds are like these and people may think something is wrong with you if you don't; so just keep them to yourself._

_The Great Master of Fairy Tail,_

_Makarov Dreyar_


	28. Meredy x Jellal x Ultear

**56 reviews, 21 likes, and 28 follows!? You guys are AMAZING! XD Keep on reading, following, and liking! **

**On another note... we are planning on the end near the end of summer... unless we feel the need to make it longer xD **

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

_OMG!These storys are so cuteeeeee! Well some of them. Others are just….. how sh__**ouL**__d i explain…. perverted….. U guys shuld no, Jellal wuld never do stuff like that. But man, if some of those storys was true…. him coming n and saving the day like a knight! Im loving it! He culd save the whole world if those council pepz would leave him alone!_

*She starts to pout*

_1 __**dAy fi**__ore will remember his name as the 1 who save us all! I remember the 1st time i meet him. he was like a angle comin form the heaven. Oh i miss those days._

_Ultear-nee….._

*Starts tearing up*

_I MISS YOU S__**oOOoO**__OOOOO MUCH! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME BACKKKKKK! OUR GROUP ISNT C__**omP**__LETE WITHOUT YOU, THE FOUNDING MEMB__**ER!**__! :*(_

_*Wipes the tears away and starts taking deep breaths*_

_She was my sister in that place. I look up 2 he__**r aN**__d i still do. I cant stan__**d Th**__at_ _**ShEs g**__one. W__**heRe hA**__s she gone? We search everyw__**Her**__e 4 her and Jellal-sama r__**aNd**__omly just stopped….. w__**Hy**_…_.._

*The end of the letter was ruined by tears*

*Her name was washed out*

_M__**erE**__d__**y~**_

…

_Dear Fanfiction Members,_

_This organization was created with the intention of staying in the shadows, instead of being viewed publicly and every action one of our members be overanalyzed and placed together in a romantically setting. The main goals of this organization is to clear the world of a man named Zeref and his demons, yet you saw this approach as 'shipping' material. Please take a step back and revised your mindset before writing any more of these stories of fiction before others gain the wrong idea. _

_There are no relationships between our members, even our newest recruits. Because we have been together for a while with the same goal, we have bonded, but only to the level of seeing each other as family, as sisters and brothers. Not of lovers, which would have never happened with this leader. There are numerous reasons of why this is impossible, which I believe will be explained to you by another member. _

_One of our members have been raised in this group, and relations with her is taboo, because of how she grew up with us teaching her. Another member has close bonds with both of the founding members, yet elements of romance shall never happen, especially not now, when her location is unknown. _

_Regards,_

_Crime Sorciere_

_..._

_Seriously?_

_I already said all the reasons Gray and I shouldn't be a couple, and now I have to explain why Meredy, Jellal, and I don't belong together!? Fine then._

_1\. WE'RE TEAMMATES, NOT LOVERS._

_2\. Girl love is yuri. That stuff is disgusting._

_3\. Jellal has the hots for Erza, so why would he like Meredy or me?!_

_5\. Who ships three people!? _

_20\. I don't need a man to live. Love is overrated._

_35\. I don't think Jellal is my type of guy (if I ever did fall in love)._

_89\. Do I need any more reasons?! _

_109\. Fine then, last one. WE. DON'T. LIKE. EACH. OTHER. PERIOD. _

_-Ultear M._


	29. Fro x Exceeds

**Just think of the section before the dots as one of those emails you get whenever you get a PM.**

* * *

_:Story Fro the Ever Lving Cupcake_

_Chapter 4: THE EnD_

_From: Guest: fros :4_

_Reply URL:_ _The fanfic that Fro was on. _

_Fro thins so too. everyone so nie and niec to Fro. Rogue doesnt lkie this site, Fro is confuesd. Sting does not care, like Lector. Fro likes seeing fulffy ones. Ttheir Cute. _

_Do not reply to this email._

...

_Happy: Hmmmm…. does anybody get the feeling that Fro isn't who he seems to be? Or should it be she?_

_Lily: Now that you think about it….. I am a little suspicious about Frosch's gender..._

_Lets bring Lector into this convo so he can tell us._

*Lector was added into this chat*

Happy: _Lector! Do you know what Frosch's gender is?_

Lily: _Don't just confront him like that! He might not give us the answer that way! _

Lector: …

Lily: _See? Now he don't answer us!_

Happy: _Oh….. Sorry about that….. ^_^;;;_

Lily: _v.v Anyways…. we don't have to ask…. we can figure it out….._

Happy: _But how? The only thing that makes him look like a girl is is his frog outfit!_

Lily: _There's his eyes…. and his voice…. also the way the talks…._

Happy: _True true! Hmmmmm… does the way he acts count too?_

Lily: _I guess… _

_Now what do we do with this evidence…..?_

Happy: Lily! _Someone is trying to hack into our group chat!_

Lily: _What?_

*White haired cat entered the group chat (Charle)*

Charle: _Jeez, do you guys have a mind?! Obviously, Frosch is a guy! Can you not see it?!_

Lector: …

Happy: 0_0

Lily: +X+

Happy: _EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!_

Lily: _WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?! o.o_

Charle: _YES! NOW GET OFF THIS WEBSITE AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO!_

*After sending multiple viruses into the chat, the website was shut down*

*Charle made sure that they would never get on the online chat again*


	30. ErLu (Erza x Lucy)

**Happy 4th of July! Hope you guys have a good one... unless you're not doing anything (like me ^_^;;)**

**30... Chapter 30... I never thought it would reach this much chapters or views (I think WhatifStoryTeller knew but didn't want to tell me xD)... ... this is the first story I've written that has a ton of views and favorites... thank you for reading this story...****... WhatifStoryTeller and I greatly appreciate it! :D **

* * *

_No matter how hard I try, this website always comes back to me….. is this what they call karma?_

_Honestly… I don't know what you people see between Erza and me….. its like you guys enjoy putting people who don't belong together for your own entertainment…. _

_But just so this is clear… ERZA AND I ARE NOT, I SAY __**NOT, **__LOVERS! WE ARE TEAMMATES, FRIENDS, AND NAKAMA! (Am I turning into Natsu? o.o)_

_And, THIS IS YURI! AND JUST PLAIN WRONG! YOU GUYS MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND IF YOU THINK SHE LIKES ME OR I LIKE HER! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS! NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS! _

_She also has the hots for Jellal…. its pretty obvious…._

_I bet the magic council would throw a fit if they ever found out about this website….. they would probably ban it throughout Fiore... _

_ANYWAYS! KEEP ME OUT OF YOUR WILD DELUSIONS, PLEASE!? It's kinda hard to think about new material that I haven't written about in other letters that I could write in more. I'm still wondering how and why I keep getting summoned here... is there that many stories about me on here...?_

_-Lucy H._

…

_Dear 'Fans'_

_There are many, many things wrong with this site, and I feel as though I haven't gotten close to the bottom… -_-_

_First the page was filled with dozens and millions of 'Lucy was kicked out of the guild,' which would have never happened on my watch (-_-) If you 'fans' truly did follow the show, you would have known this would have been strange for the guild to suddenly turn on their own member…._

*She begins to get angry as she keeps typing*

_May I bring up Laxus? Though he practically destroyed the guild, he was welcomed back with open arms. Haven't you forgotten this major event?_

_Most of this is fiction, yes, but none of this is good fiction._

_And then there's this._

_I had nightmares with the first one, Ichiya… then the hardship after finding those stories with me and Mirajane…. and now...it's me and her… _

*Sigh*

_A teammate. _

_Lucy._

_Just like with Mirajane, there is no way in this land that I would think anything perverted like this to do with my own guild members. _

_Why must all strong women get coupled together with other women? _

_This is NOT ACCEPTABLE. _

_Unfortunately, _

_Erza Scarlet_


	31. Macao x Cana

_OIOIOOOOOOOOOIIIIII!_

_WHA DA HELL ARE YOU GUYS THINKIN?! MACAO IS AN OLD AND PERVERTED OLD MAN! NO WAY AM I GOING TO HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART, MARRY HIM, AND HAVE A THOUSAND KIDS!?_

*She chugs another barrel of booze*

_IDK WHAZS GOIN ON IN YO JACKED UP HEADS, BUT THERE IS SOMETHIN SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU GUYS_

_HES JUST A DRINKING BUDDY, NOT A LOVE INTEREST! HE IS WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OUTTA MY LEAGUE! _

_GO TAKE YO DISGUSTING TRASH SOMEWHERE ELSE!_

* Hating the feeling of being sober, she goes and drowns herself in booze*

_..._

_Dear hooligans, _

_I'm not a pedo (Wabaka is the one you are searching for) and the girl is close to half of my age (not that old, mind you). We're drinkin' buddies, that's all to it. Ask Wabaka if you don't believe this (young) man. Actually, ask…._

_*Different names are crossed out until he finally settles on one*_

_Erza (probably the best reference in this damn guild… I can already see Wabaka creating an odd story about me getting thrown in jail from faking heart attacks and snapping panty shots while I got the chance…why am I friends with him? Master Makarov, though he would try to help my case, would probably only make it worst...for me and for him). _

_If yall are fans (like you love to wave around like it's your country), the girl has the hots for muscle men and big time drinkers (does she admire her father too damn much?). Which would point to Bacchus from (yup, I'm not that big of a drinker like he is, otherwise, she would have been falling for me…. again, not a pedo). _

_Plus, I am a man with a child/teenager (oh, how they grow up sooo fast). Have you guys realize that she wouldn't exactly be the best mother around (yup, you are looking at the best mother/father around ;) ). My little man is growing up so fast...and it looks like he's got someone to think about… _

_For your own sake, please refrain from any more stories._

_Macao of the Conbolt Household._

...

_So you guys noticed as well? Man, and I thought I was the only one in this stinkin' guild that knew a thing or two. I mean, with Bisca and that cowboy, that was easy as heck to tell, but with the newer generation...man, oh boy… Luckily, Cana was the easiest one when it came to her crushes (though now she can barely keep a boy for a day… at least she has her booze). She was on his heels for four, five years, just bout. The old dog didn't even realize...man...I envy that fool, having a cute, young girl chasing after him…._

_*Some odd reason, an image of his wife came to mind*_

_GETTING BACK to the point, there was somethin' between them indeed. If there still was...Macao would have been gone like dust once the old pa heard the news. Gildarts was always the slowest person…. …._

_This reminds me of last year…..or has it been five years…. I just know it was on November 9th. Well, me, the old dog, and another lackey was at this nice, little bakery. You know, the pink cups and baked goods on the display? Now...imagine the women… Short skirts, but I still couldn't see the gears underneath. Luckily, Macao brought this little device, a holophone, that can take pictures. If I had this in my younger years, then life would be a blessing. Well, I called the waitress and the bull hound tripped his chair down, right in front of the girl. Bad thing, the phone and his nose broke. The good thing, the girl, as she was lifting her foot to kick him, I was finally able to see it. Blue and white stripes. Lovely. Of course, the officers came to see the commotion and we ran for our lives. Never allowed in 4,000 feet of the girl and we can't visit the bakery again. Macao got a prison tattoo and I learned about a secret trade. No more quests for this old hound. Man...such good times… I gotta see that place one more time, even if it's the last thing I see. _

_What I was talking bout again? Something about Macao being a perv, right? Or was it about Cana's boyfriend, the barrel of booze? I don't know, and I don't care anymore. This writing sure can hurt a man's eyes...which I need for that goal of mine. _

_Adios_

_Wabaka_

…

*Jason sent the two letters above back to Fairy Tail for correcting*

*They were muddled with blood*

*Makarov gotten a hold of them and revised them for free*

"It was November fifteenth, day where Natsu destroyed the rooftop over some gum, and no one went to jail. Wakaba's wife found out and they had him banned from the store….. He read Macao's letter next. "Oh, and I was the one who faked the heart attack. It's easy when you're old."

*At the door, we hear Macao and Wakaba shouting in despair, now that their tales were proven true yet with some incorrect statements*


	32. Jerza (Jellal x Erza)

**The long awaited Jerza chapter. . . . . . . **

* * *

_Dear FANS,_

_Who in the name of Satan TOLD YOU THAT CREATING STORIES LIKE THIS… THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?! _

*Blushes from all of the imagines that were formed in her mind while reading*

*Threat that was crossed out*

_This is slander. _

_Violation of privacy. _

_Using Jellal as though HE was an object. _

_Using MY feelings as writing fuel. _

_Using OUR memories like they hold no value other than 'aweee cuteee' moments. _

_WRITING ABOUT MY STRAWBERRY CAKE BEING DESTROYED AND SEVERAL OCCASIONS. _

_THIS is too MUCH._

_E. S._

_*She shut down the computer for the rest of the night*_

_*And took a grand vow to hunt down these 'fans' of Jerza to publish them*_

_*Could she being doing this because she wants to hide something?*_

_*Her feelings?*_

_*Tune in on the next episode of One Punch Fleach Nartail Z!*_

…

_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ._

_Ummmmmm...… H-how….? 0 / / / 0 _

_Never mind…... I'm just wondering you guys can think like this…... Erza is just a childhood friend…... there's no way she could like me…... but I...… do…..._

_It would be nice if I ever had a chance…. to…... you know…..._

*He blushes furiously at the thought of him and Erza being together*

_ANYWAYS…. Erza is too good for me. She is everything that I wish I could have, yet I cannot. I, who has been tainted by darkness, cannot be with a person who walks in the light. I would do nothing but hurt her in the end… I don't deserve her, for everything that I did to her…. And in the name of Crime Sorciere, I cannot fall in love….. nor do I have the time to… And she certainly doesn't have time for me… hunting down Zeref and destroying Zeref's works is my #1 priority…... ….. I don't have time to waste… And she probably thinks I'm getting ready for my wedding….. Since I told her I have a fiance… So either way, we cannot be. _

_So please…...stop these wild delusions….. It'll never happen…. .Even if I wish it would….. And these ideas are…... a little too much. _

_-Jellal_

*Curious about what other fanfics are out there, he searches the website*  
*After stumbling upon some smexy fanfics about him and Erza, he vows never to go on there again and to focus about Zeref*


	33. Mest (Doranbolt) x Wendy

_What the….. what is this…..? This stuff is worse than what the Council squabble about everyday…._

_These stories….. are just… disgusting._

'_Shipping' me with an 12 (or 13?) year old….. not to mention a dragonslayer… and part of that rambunctious guild Fairy Tail….._

_Wait, what am I saying….. I am (technically) a member of Fairy Tail, so that would make her one of my guildmates…. But in real terms…..Why would an ex-Council guy go out with a little girl…? Just because I was her partner during the S-Class Exam doesn't me we're automatically labeled as a couple…. if that was how everything was in life, it would be seriously messed up….._

_Well... furthermore... I don't think I will ever like Wendy... or have a relationship with her... so... just no._

_-Doranbolt (AKA Mest)_

…

*Presses on the suspicious link, and quickly blushes*

"They are starting to get scary," she muttered to herself, "No wonder Charle banned me from the…"

*Looks behind her in case if her Exceed shown up at the sound of her name*

*Sighs*

"Maybe… Maybe it can't be that bad…?"

*Tries to read the story, but each sentence makes her stomach grumble*

"Is this how Natsu-san feels on a train?" She ask, while trying to hold it in.

*The story has Wendy taking off her jacket, then going for her shirt*

*The real Wendy turns off the power button*

"NononononononononononononononononononononononnoNONONONO," she muttered, with her wrist to her mouth shaking her head. "W-What did I just read?!"

*Thinks about asking Mest to erase her memory, but even being near Mest right now wasn't something she wanted to do*


	34. Jet x Droy x Levy

This is a site full of fanficiton about relationships involving Fairy Tail members yet there are practically none ABOUT US Why isnt there more I mean we have been rivaling against each other ever since Levysan joined the guild and you guys dont make anything for that fact alone Nonononono it all has to be about that Iron Mouth BASTARD who wont stay away from Levysan Unlike that guy we havent done one thing wrong to Levysan This group was made just to stay by her side and maybe even some more

But we were both rejected

Course I tried over and over again to get another chance but I guess this is the FRIENDZONE Let me tell you this its sucks big time

Seven years of our life we spent on waiting for her to come back

And she didnt even aged

I look like a pervert now dont I Chasing after a girl eight years younger

Jet

...

_Ugh... this website brings back memorys. _

_Even tho it was claer that Levy-san had no intereast in me, i still had undeing feelings 4 her. _

*He munches on a chicken leg to relieve his sorrow*

_I don't hav any feelings 4 her now... but it still hurts whenever I see her with that iron dude (Gajeel, rite?)_

_If onley me and Jet were more attractive... than we could win Levy's heart back when we there a team..._

_Wait a seceond... if we were both going to win her heart... then who would do it forst?_

_Nooooooo... I mustn't give Levy up to that brick head Jet... I will be victorious!_

_I MUST WIN HER HEART WITHOUT JET_ _IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DOOOOOOOOO!_

_Droy_

_P.S. Please make some fanfics about __us_ _me with the wonderful (and attractive)_ _Levy... that would be greatly appreciated T^T_

_..._

_.-._

_._._

_WHAT_

_IS _

_THIS _

_NONSENSE?!_

*Outraged, she starts ranting frantically and wildly*

_IDONTKNOWWHATYOUGUYSHAVEBEENDOINGSINCETHELASTTIMEIWASONHERE,BUTITSEEMSLIKEYOUGYSAREDOINGMOREHARMTHANGOOD! JETANDDROYAREMYFRIENDS! F.R.I.E.N.D.S. NO, THIS 'a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations'. WHATPARTOFTHATDOYOUNOTUNDERSTAND?!_

THISWEBSITEDOESNTCHANGE. THERESALWAYSSTORIESTHATMAKEYOUQUESTIONTHEHUMANITYOFMANKIND.

THIS.

WEBSITE

IS.

TRASH.

_USELESS._

_TRASH. _

_-LEVY_

_ BONUS FACT: CHALK IS MADE OUT OF ANCIENT SKELETONS OF SEA CREATURES.. _


	35. CoLu (Cobra x Lucy)

_Dear...authors….?_

_You are making me regret ever signing into this website. One fanfic is just like the other. Those who do not support one pairing will get flamed. _

_But there is another thing that I have noticed. With Natsu, you guys seem to dislike pairing him with anyone but me (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHY ARE YOU GUYS PAIRING US TOGETHER… he's just a friend….NOT A LOVE INTEREST). I mean, I have seen a few others, such as him with Erza. But, with me… it seems as though there's a rule "anything goes." I-Is that true? NOW I'M THE WORLD'S SLAVE?! so heartless… First there was Natsu… Then Loke..._

*Loke appears with a happy face until he is sent back by an annoyed Lucy*

_Then others, like Laxus, Freed, Sting, Gray… so anyone with muscles (which is a goooood thing...but the point still stands). _

_And now with Cobra?_

_Have we ever talked? I have only saw him once (I'm not certain though. I thought I saw him in the GMG, but it was chaos, so I'm not for sure) and even then we didn't say a word. You must have ran out of ideas? Is that why you came with this pairing? That's the only possible reason. _

_Lucy H._

…

_what tha heck_

_whos this 'Lucy' chick? is she the one who was_

_in the cahoots with pinky? or shuld i say an acuaintance?_

_Never mind that. I don even know thisk_

_person. why must you "pair" me wih strangers? _

_Again, I think this shit is boring and_

_plain out wrong. I _

_wish you humans didnt write such disgusting things_

_Anyways, im with Jellal and his 'guild', so _

_a girl isn't an option_

_Please don't add me into_

_Your_

_Fnatasies _

_cobra_


	36. NaJu (Natsu x Juvia)

_wha the heck?!_

_Juvia? r u guys out of ur mind? She has a thing for Ice Prick. And is stalkerish like heel. No way I would want to hang out with someone liek her (no offense). She is nakama, NOT AND I SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT, WHATEVER YOU GUYS CALL ME AND HER TOGETHER! NAJU?! NUVIA?! WHAT ISH THIS?! _

_4 dayz ive been finding out wha da heck 'ship names' r….. this is makin it worse_

_May be thats wat lucy meant when she said that this web site is awlays comin back to her…. itz doing da same to meh._

_Any ways , you guys ar stupid if u guys think juvia is compatible with meh. i think gray would get pissed and start pickin a fight._

_Signinng ouut (I think thats what you guys say over there when you want to leave),_

_Natsu_

_..._

_Dear Author-sans,_

_Or evil writers who is swore to break Juvia-san's heart. Juvia-san with Natsu-san? No, no, no,nononononononononononononononononononono… _

*Many No's later*

_It doesn't work that way. Natsu-san is suppose to be with Love Rival-san, so Juvia-san will not worry about Love Rivals for Gray-sama's heart. If Natsu-san is out for Juvia, then Gray-sama and Lyon-san will fight over Juvia, who will only love Gray-sama only. And Natsu-san and Gray-sama are already fighting, so could it be they are fighting over Juvia already? Or is it Love Rival-san they are fighting over? Or is it a foursome that they would want?_

*Gets heated up at that thought*

*Starts pounding the letters as she types*

_Nonononono..._

*Many No's later*

_That would be the worst. Everyone fighting. To many complications, Juvia-san cannot handle. Nononono. Natsu-san's fight will be a fruitless, because Juvia-san will have to deny because Gray-sama wouldn't like to share, especially if it is with Natsu-san or Lyon-san. Only Gray-sama can have Juvia-san. Not Natsu-san._

* * *

**WhatifStoryTeller's AN: This is actually a hidden pleasure of mine. Water and Fire? Two elements that aren't suppose to mix...but they do? I mean… wouldn't the bedroom get steamy for those two? And the same could be say about Gratus...which is why I ship that pairing as well XD**


	37. RoWen (Romeo x Wendy)

**Sooo... school started today for me... it was horrible ;-;**

**Speaking of school... this fanfic is nearing its end... soon... unless you guys want it to go on longer...?**

* * *

_Dear Author-sans,_

_I… I can not say anything… Not after reading those stories about Gajeel-san and Mest-san… And those weird, TABOO stories with Natsu-san and the other dragonslayers… o-o_

*Chills from remembering it*

_I can't help but think, why did I not start with these stories first? Instead of finding those very taboo stories… I still have nightmares… D: _

_Romeo-kun is a FRIEND._

_He was seven years younger than me when I first joined… then somehow we are the same age… but still, he WAS seven years younger, and I WAS seven years older. Isn't that a large difference? That's like pairing Romeo with As-... No, I am not going to finish that thought…_

_O_O Please… can this be over with?_

_I have gotten to the point where everything I see makes me think about this site… And how am I supposed to play with Romeo when I see these stories about us….DATING!_

_Wendy M._

…

_Dear Author-sans…_

_I've heard a lot about this website from Dad and Natsu….. they seem… a little scarred (maybe its my imagination) from it… so I just wanted to see if its as bad as it seems…_

_*_Many stories later*

_U-um… how do I say this… why am I mostly put with Wendy-nee? I don't understand…. I only talk to her by chance at the guild…. And I think I'm too young to be in a relationship….._

_I think she's more of an older sister to me…. or maybe a younger sister…? I think she's older than me…. or wait a second..… Am I older…?_

*He ponders on his age and Wendy's age for a great deal of time before coming to a consensus that they are the same age*

*It seems that his father's bad memory is getting to him…..*

_Now that I have all that cleared up….. Wendy is a friend… a little like a sister….. not someone I can see being with in the future…. _

_How do these stories even get created…? You guys must have some wild brains to come up with this kind of stuff…. maybe Dad can create stuff like this…. in his free time…_

_Sincerely,_

_Romeo Conbolt_


	38. Laxus x Cana

**Sooooo... hey... sorry we haven't been updating... just stalling because we really don't want this fic to end... but when it ends, it ends... its inevitable fate...**

**Sorry this is so short... since it is, there will be a double update today! :D But then we probably won't update until a week later, so take advantage of it! :)**

* * *

Oioioioiooooooooooi.  
This stuff is getting a little too extreme, don'tcha think?  
I didn't think Gramps would get involved in this website….. but apparently he did.  
That aside, why in the world would anybody think that drunk wad Cana would even date someone like me. Likewise, I have no disgusting, lovey=dovey feelings for her (I'm not interested in anybody. And I never will be). Whatever the reason if for putting me with her, is all bull, because I don't want to have any association with a moody alcoholic who wallows in her booze and gives stupid love advice. You people are idiots if you think someone as high and mighty as me can be with a sad excuse of a woman.  
-Laxus

*Cana bangs her head on the desk, realizing she did, in fact, send those drunken letters*  
*In her holomail she founds several unopened letters asking her about her and Laxus*  
*Shaking her head, she gets up and goes grab a barrel*

"Ain't replyin'! But they should know by now that answer is a never gonna happen in this lifetime or else someone's dyin'," she stated to herself, "Laxus couldn't even keep up with me even if he tried!"

*After her fifth, she started getting more and more talkative*

"Everyone *hip* knows that Laxus is a bi, ya'know. He got Freed on one arm and M'jane on the other. Good thing Laxus moved out, or else Gramp's house would be shakin' every damn night."


	39. Scorpio x Aquarius

**This thign is also short... forgive us... ;-; **

* * *

Authors,

We arree! Thanks for supportin me and Aquarius! We arreee the greatest couple eva!

We arrrreeee! These stories are pretty coooool! But some of them are pretty extreme, so maybe you guys should chillax a little on that. You guys should go for more cooler things like me and Aquarius's wedding (don't tell her about this).

We are! Wish stuff was like this in the celestial world. Its a good thing Leo here can help me summon myself in the human world. The things humans write are better than Capricorn's poetry (no offense bro).

We arree! Maybe my master Lucy would like a guy... Aquarius should hook her up with someone ;)

We arrrrreeee!

-Scorpio

...

I am seriously done with this website. Of course we are the greatest, yet all I see is Blondie this, Blondie that?! Where is my worship? Why is that "thing" so popular?! We have been dating for years now, yet this is all we get? Omg, I literally can't believe it.

Scorpio-kun and I should make our own website with limited tagging and blackjack. Cuz If I see one more Blondie fic, I'm gonna flip. And no, it won't be pretty.

Out.


	40. Gruvia (Gray x Juvia)

**Err... it been a while... sorry about that ^_^;;; Life happened. WhatifStoryTeller and I were busy... yea. **

**I guess all I can say is... it'll update slower than usual...?**

**Whoa, it's the 40th chapter... and I don't have much to say as much as the 30th one... ^_^;;;;;; **

**Thank chu awesome guys for sticking with us till the end! Your suppose means a lot to us! XD**

* * *

_Whawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhhhhaaaaaaaaaaat_.

_WHY_

_DO _

_YOU_

_PUT _

_ME _

_WITH_

_THESE_

_PEOPLE?!_

_Thisisjustwrong. Youguysjustcrossedaline. _

_Juviaisjustafriend,ateammate, notsomepersonthatifindattractive. Plus, . Ithinkshehasissuesorsomething._

_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ._

_Well,sheskindaahottie,butthatsadifferenttopicofdiscussion. Acompletelydifferenttopic._

_Anyways,ithinkeveryoneisfedupwiththiswebsite. Andsoami. Soplease,stopthismadness. Itskillingeveryone. Literally._

_-Gray_

_P.S. Donttellanybodytihis,butithinkikindalikeJuvia. KINDA. OK?! SHESHOT. ANDICOULDLIVEWITHHAVINGHERNEARME._

*In the distance, a certain stalker is peering over Gray's letter with hearts in her eyes...*

...

_I don't know how or why I got into this._

_First it was Chelia, and now it's the love of my life Juvia….?_

_This ruins all my plans of getting rid of these feelings for her….._

_I do accept that she will never love me and take her eyes off of that bastard Gray, but that doesn't mean that I don't like like her anymore…._

_I think that Juvia is too good for Gray….. and that she deserves someone better than him…. but if she's happy, then what the heck? All's well that ends well, right?_

_It is truly saddening that Gray is too dense to see it….._

_So about my support for them….._

_I…_

…_..support him with that fire person. Natsu, am I right….?_

_I'm just sayin._

_-Lyon_

…

_Dear Author-sans~!_

"_Gruvia"-san this, "Gruvia"-san that. GRUVIA EVERYWHERE_

*Nosebleed*

_Gruvia~ Gruvia~ Gruvia~_

_Gray-sama and Juvia-san~_

_Gray-sama Juvia-san~_

_GraysamaJuviasan~_

_Gray-sama x Juvia-san~_

_So many to choose from~_

_Gruvia~_

_Gruvia~_

_Gruvia~_

_KYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH~! (\^0^/)_

*No, she hasn't become a Pokemon*


	41. Lisanna x Yukino

Dear Writers-sans,

I don't believe that I have been this fearful in my life before, not even when I was dismissed from my guild and had to undress myself from everyone. This is uncertainly a morbid thought, is it not? This bewildered thought even has drawings made by you writers(?). And not only that, this is twinest, even though we have been in the same room (I think twice), and even then we confused everyone there. And for the people who drew these...things... how could you tell who's who? Place a beauty mark on one of us? Which I can tell right now that there is not a single one of those on my body. Wait, was that too much information? I didn't really mean to say that, but hopefully you understand what I mean. Right?

Anyways, hopefully I don't have to write another one of these…

Farewell,

Yukino

...

_Dear authors,_

_I (think) that this idea... is not right but also (genius?) at the same time~_

_Putting me and my 'twin' together? Nooooooooo. That idea is just plain __**wrong**__. Big no-no. She belongs with that Sting guy from Sabertooth. I think he's the master there?_

_But if we were a couple..._

*Her mind wanders into a place that shouldn't be explored*

_Nonononononooooooooo. Now I'm thinking like Mira-nee..._

_But if we were a couple..._

_We could confuse everybody in Fairy Tail~~! And in Sabertooth too~_

_We could be matchmakers~~! Finding love to people like how we found love ourselves~!_

_*_She rambles on and on about all the fun things that her and Yukino would do if they were a couple*

*Until...*

She gasped as she realized how weird her thoughts have become.

"WHAT AM I THINKING?!"

*She bangs her head on the guild counter*

"Lisanna, are you ok?" Mirajane asks her little sister worriedly.

"Mira-nee! I'm ok, I'm ok!""

"Ok then..."

Glancing at Lisanna one more time, she walks away, worried at her sister's wellbeing.

_Augh... that was close!_

_If Mira-nee found out what I was thinking..._

_I think she'd kill me._

_-Lisanna _

…

**Has Lisanna become a matchmaker like her sister? Or is she now a yuri fan? We'll never know now...**

**...**

**At this point, I don't think apologizing can make up for our very big hiatus ^_^;;;;;;;;; **

**Yes, we are still alive... and yes, we will keep working on this story till the very end! :)**


	42. Zavis (Mavis x Zeref)

_8/7/XX _

_This is a wicked device indeed. _

_This would not further my research or even cure my boredom. _

_Though I'm always tirelessly wandering in order to cure it._

_Thousands of meaningless rattling topics, yet none interesting to press. _

_They wonder about my relationship with Fairy Heart. There's not much to tell._

_To the contrary, there is some I could in order to itch my boredom state._

_Tiny, little being found me. Then she found herself, and I lost her. Tithe to the creator, I suppose, yet still here somehow. _

_Thoroughly soul searching, I found myself that I lost a long time ago, or did I? Total, am I?_

_Tried, I did yet failed many times. _

_Together not so. _

_That is our relationship. To be precise. _

_Till this chasing ends, I will be whole, and she will be too. That is the goal. That's all you need to know._

_Tangled history is best when you don't get intertwined with it. Taxing to both me and you._

_Truely,_

_Zeref_

…

_Authors and commoners alike,_

_Let me tell you this straight: my love for Zeref is dead. Gone. Eradicated. Completely and utterly destroyed. _

_It will not be revived, nor will we ever get together._

_It's the honest and down to Earthland truth._

_Although we have lingering feelings for each other, the battle right now is more important to the both of us._

_So even if we love or hate each other…._

_It wouldn't matter anymore._

_I am dead, and he is alive._

_I'm just a mere spirit, my true form encased in lacrima with the most powerful magic inside._

_He is a demon, cursed with the elixir of eternal life._

_We were both doomed to love in the first place._

_A human and demon should never be together, nor should they even speak with one another._

_It is an unspoken taboo that everybody follows._

_But even so….._

_I love him. _

_But that love killed me, and destroyed him in the process._

_I will fight him, and lead the guild to victory._

_Even if it kills me in the process._

_-Mavis_


End file.
